Not pregnant, Not infertile.

I've been testing and testing...and testing some more with no luck. It's BFN (Big fat negative) town for me and I'm getting pretty depressed about it. I should have been 20 weeks along with nugget right about now and it hurts. I'm not pregnant, and I'm also not infertile so people say rude comments to me about it. Nobody understands how painful it is to go through a miscarriage unless they have gone through it themselves that's why I try my best to ignore the comments. Trying again helped me sort through my feelings about the loss at first but now I'm not sure if this is healthy for me. I'm very bummed out about the BFN's and even though I'm only 8-9 DPO I don't know if I have it in me to keep doing this month after month. I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to hold on to hope that we will have another baby. This is just so unfair. What did I do to deserve this. :(